Monday, April 14, 2008

Decor disasters

Every now and then I get completely fed up of the property prices in Mumbai, resting as they are in a completely different stratosphere. It is in these fully fed-up moments that I realize that owning our own flat is going to be a tad more difficult than I thought possible. I mean people are asking for six or seven crores for a three bedroom flat in Bandra. If they are had asked for say five point five crores then it would have been eminently affordable. Naturally.


Right, so in these moments of distress, I start doing decor things to the flat we rent so that I continue to like and enjoy the place and don't start screaming from the windows out of sheer desperation.

I had another one of these phases recently and called Subhash, the elderly handyman over. Subhash is a kindly old soul who does not mind humouring the crazy lady with the baby and does the odd carpentry jobs that I ask him to do. Often I will carry my laptop to him with some decor website or the other opened on it and ask him to make 'that exact shelf' or 'those pretty little stools' or what have you. Subhash will take a look and calmly inform me that it cannot be done. So we have an exceedingly functional relationship.

This time I showed Subhash a ten kilo ghanta (bell) that I had ferried from Jaisalmer last December and asked him to make a bracket in the lobby from which to hang it. I also told him to put magnetic stoppers on the doors as I am constantly fearing for Adi's fingers getting caught in doors left slightly ajar as he crawls from room to room. Also put in a rod for the shower curtain, said I and trooped off to the mall for some shopping.

When I got back I saw that Subhash had done all the work to my satisfaction. Very pleased with myself, I forced others to compliment me on my vision and unique aesthetic sense and proceeded to eat a large lunch.

After Adi had gone off to sleep that night, I decided to get some magazines from the lobby. Of course I forgot that the mother of all ghantis is hanging in the selfsame lobby and nearly clanged it in the dark. Ooh, close shave, I whispered to Mahesh once my heartbeat had returned to normal and I was back in the safety of the bedroom. What, the ghanta got you too, he asked. Uh, oh, Houston, we have a problem, I think.

The stoppers too make loud sounds when the door hits them or is detached from them. Difficult to explain the mechanics and I really don't feel like choking you with the details but it is an uh-oh situation again.

The shower curtain is weighing down the rod on which it hangs and people have to be careful while standing beneath it for the fear of having a shower curtain complete with rod and rings land on their heads. Hmmm...

Anyway, what are these minor glitches for us domestic goddesses, eh? And oh, domestic goddesses remind me of Dipali and Kiran, both of whom have put up pictures of their beautiful homes here and here. Enjoy!

As for me, I am planning to re-do the entire house in an oriental theme now. Now, why is Subhash not taking my calls?

P.S. I am publishing this post now but will try to put in a picture of the ghanta tomorrow separately so that you can assess the gravity of the situation for yourself.


thelastbyte said...

bah! small price to pay for aesthetics, like starving oneself and forgetting to breathe in order to fit into an old pair of jeans.

*chuckles @ gravity of situation*

Null Pointer

rayshma said...

i want to know HOW u carried a 10 kilo ghanta from jaisalmer back to b'bay?
my pati refuses to let me ship a 3.5 kilo ghanta from parents home... excuse used is "get it when we get our own house, ok?"
hmph! like that is going to happen soon! :P
pic plz...? i want to show it to my pati.

I love Lucy said...

Been a lurker for a long time now and so finally decided to own up and de-lurk!
Oh I so miss knowing handymen and handywomen.Especially the dhobi-lady who ironed all our clothes back home.As much as I like to do stuff myself,getting things done has its own charm.*sigh*

Nat said...

funny post as usual...laughed my way thru it!

Mona said...

i wish i knew a subhash. he sounds awesome.

and close call with the ghanta. i can't wait to see a picture of it. :)

Just Like That said...

ROFL! Pliss to post a pic of the mother of all ghantis. 10 kilos! Phew!

Cynic in Wonderland said...

i have a twenty kilo ( or at least it felt like that ) thingummy lying at home in Mumbai too. have to transport it here and get subhashtypes to fix it up on the wall without the darn thing collapsing as the mr cassandra i married keeps on prophesising

dipali said...

We've had our share of decorating disasters, Parul! Hence this recent urge to simplify everything as much as possible:)

the mad momma said...

same reason why ram singh is not taking my calls. they are sick of the crazy ladies and their babies and their decor probs in rented homes. exactly my situation too... Rs 5.5 cr is well within budget - unlike an insane 6 cr. you are so right :p

Mama - Mia said...


you are still better off! we dont even HAVE a subhash in banaglore who would at least kid me saying he would do it!

everytime we even have to get a nail done, it takes forever and we pay atrociously crazy sum for it! :(

my friend recently gifted me huge wooden carved spoon and fork that would look obviously pretty in the kitchen! (rented house ofcos! for a ferw crores less you shall get a lovely home in bangalore!;)

i have no idea when will i find a good soul and it will actually get done!!

till then, the mother of all ghantas is looking quite nice!!

now imagien adi soon being able to use it to wake you guys up on a lazy sunday morning a la Calvin!

THEN you have a real problem, Houston! :p

happy decorating!



Parul said...

Null Pointer - ah, someone got my ultra-subtle twist there, heh heh!!

rayshma - sorry, it is not 10 kgs after all :(

i love lucy - welcome to my space! you think so? I hate doing any kind of work myself but then I am so lazy!

nat - hey, happy to make you laugh!

mona - subhash is MINE!! MWAHAHAHA!

justlikethat - not 10 kgs after all, only 2.5 kilos or so.

cynic in wonderland - a bracket in the wall is your only hope.

dipali - well, your house looks great!!

the mad momma - right, so if you know of a flat for 5.5 c, do let me know na?

abha - hey, good to have you back!! you have to find a subhash if you like playing decor games otherwise you're doomed!

Anonymous said...


my SIL in Thane tells me 3-bedroom flats there that sold for 35 lakhs new in 1999, now sell for 80+ lakhs...given those numbers, 5.5 cr. for Bandra actually sounds reasonable! Of course, these are probably under 800 sq.ft.!

Bangalore - the way to go!


karmickids said...

Domestic goddess, eh? The undomesticated goddess is so much more me. And BTW, I lovvvvvve the ghanti....

Am going hunting for one now... (yup, am an idea chor)

And if you look closely, there is no decor in my house. Only seamless white walls and old furniture made to look pretentious...