Saturday, October 20, 2007

Creatively titled - The Engagement Story

Tagged by dotmom to do the engagement story and threatened with third degree in the event of non-compliance. So, ahem, lets get this over and done with before I chicken out.

Mahesh and I had been seeing each other for a few months when things took a turn, well, several turns. Well, not seeing is probably closer to the truth. He worked with a management consulting firm and was busy taking away whatever little value his client had at a horrifying pace in a small western industrial town while I was doing the same to my clients in Delhi. His company was also a cheapo and gave only bi-monthly flybacks. Time together on those two days was also limited to the few hours that we could snatch from my work that demanded a piece of my flesh even on Saturdays. So if you are a client to some poor agency girl/boy, give them a break, NOW!!

And those were only the practical problems.

The emotional mayhem was even better (worse). I had been through a What-Were-You-Thinking-Relationship and This-Is-Going-Nowhere-Relationship and was petrified of committing to a diet, let alone a man. In fact, I had agreed to date him only on the condition that we would go with the flow and we would take it as it came and play it by the ear and not force things and see what developments were in store and just enjoy our time together and…right, I know you get what I am saying. Thought I would make it clear. Just in case.

Right, so there we were.

The wearying logistics and the complicated heart – both were far from cooperative.

To throw me into a deeper tizzy – a close friend decided to give some advice.

“Babes, I think that guy is planning on marrying you...”

Huh? How would she know?

“I don’t know. I just….know.”

Very helpful.

Well, it mattered not. I was smart. I would not get into this deep. I could spend time with him, of course. But one had to protect one’s self-interests and emotional health


Also, I was waiting for my biker/musician/poet to come along. I would meet him at a rock festival where we would do some grass together and afterwards sleep outdoors under the starlit sky and then ride into the sunrise on his Harley Davidson.

(Note to Adi: I am just speaking figuratively, my boy. Grass is not cool. Say NO to drugs, son.)

This guy was NOT that guy. Sure, he was immense fun to hang out with. And he read. And he was smart. And he could make me laugh so hard with all the good-natured bitching he did. (Well, maybe not all of it was good natured….but that was good, too). And he always looked out for me. I didn’t need anyone to do that, of course. I was INDEPENDENT. But it was rather nice the way he did those things, like getting my car’s broken registration plate repaired. It had been broken for a few months since my car’s crash with a mortar-carrying truck (!) and I had been meaning to get around it but just…never…did.

Like I was saying, this guy was not my Jim Morrison reincarnate. He was calm. Nothing seemed to ruffle him. In fact it was distressing to see that he did not appear even remotely bothered by all the PMSing I did around him. Rational. Logical. Everything was addressed in a step-wise, flow-chartish manner. Hmmpphh. I needed a rock star to my Penny Lane. Not this geeky boy who never did anything out of turn. Where was all the madness?

But wait a second. Why was I getting so used to him? This was not a good sign. I had lost my father just a few months ago. Surely, I was not getting attached to the first man that displayed the same crazy love for me. Not good, not good. Time to backtrack. Phew….close call, that one.

And so it went on in my head. And some of it in my heart too. I love mush. Who doesn’t? But like most people, I am too shy to show it. And like most people, I respond to anything lovey-dovey with a “Ewwwww….GROSS!!” Well, maybe most people don’t do it. But you know what I mean. Anyhow, the point of all this was that it was a good thing that things were unmushy.

“Don’t think about it so much. You’re stressing yourself out,” said the sisters.

Yeah, baby. That’s right. Stay cool.

Then came along a nice job offer in Bangalore that allowed me to be rid of my flesh-eating clients (Hello clients, I am just kidding. You know I love you!). Now, for all its traffic jams, Bangalore is, to borrow from Orhan Pamuk, the city of my heart. I have been really happy there, despite the fact that auto-rikshaw drivers there refuse to go anywhere.

“Bhaiyya (giving away North Indian roots), Koramangala chaloge?”
Drives off without a reply.

“Indira Nagar?”
Drives off without a reply.

“MG Road?”
Drives off without a reply.

Anyway, this deserves a separate post. And a death sentence.

To get back to the engagement story, I moved to Bangalore.

The boy moved too. To Chennai. Just to be close to Bangalore. And started coming to visit me every weekend. We explored every little bit of that city. We would go to Styx (I miss you, Styx!) and I would happily head-bang along with all the metalhead teens while he looked on, slightly amused. There was other stuff that he was amused at too but we will leave that out (Hi, Mom!). This went on for a few months. Things were good. The voices in my mind had also stopped bothering me too much. This could go on. Life was perfect.

Then, on his birthday, we decided to celebrate in Chennai. It was the most natural thing to do. Every one knows what a party-happy, hip and happening place Chennai is. Shake that kanjeevaram, baybeh! That evening we decided to hang out at Leather Bar. A very nice, swishy-swish place. There was a live band playing some great jazz and the vibe was just fantastic. I was so glad I had decided to come. Then, out of nowhere came The Bartender. He did some tricks that involved fire, alcohol and juggling bottles and I was hooked and plastered to the stool. I am such a sucker for all this, I tell you. I gleefully told the bartender that I was with a birthday boy and could he do something special for us. Who knew that before the night was out, the joke would be on me? The Bartender said that he could do something very special indeed and proceeded to ply us with shots of various shades, sizes, colours and tastes. We were game for anything. However, in a couple of hours, I was not plastered to the stool. I was just plastered. The live band continued to play some great music and I was in a place that is rather poetically called the Purple Haze.

On our way back, M asked me if I would marry him. Yecks, I mean Yes, replied I. It was as simple as that. I proceeded to pass out soon after.

The next morning he gently reminded me of the fact that I was indeed engaged to him. What nonsense, I said. An inebriated proposal doesn’t count. Well, neither of us is inebriated now and I am asking again, he said. Huh? That was a googly, if I ever saw one. But dude, it felt just fine to be engaged, drunk or otherwise. It was The Right Thing to do. How did I know it? I don’t know. I just knew. I could carry on being engaged and eventually get married to him and have his kids and it would be alright. So I figured that my drunken mind and heart had done what I wanted to do all along and just let it be.

We were married later that year.

Of course I still tease M about how he could have never gathered the courage to do this without being under the influence of alcohol and he says that he would have never got me to accept him otherwise. The jury is still out on that one.

Alright, now I am seriously embarrassed. So, I will disappear for some time and surface later to see what you guys have to say about all this. Really, the things that people disclose on their blogs!

But wait a minute - I hope no one has escaped this tag - Y? Kiran? Fuzzy? Come on, out with it. And if you got away with only telling us Your Song, that's not enough. You gotta spill the full can of beans.


Malavika said...

Awwwww :-)

Sue said...

You obviously missed out on my drunken engagement story...

I guess, after that, yours sounds pretty normal to me. Stuff that I'm used to. :)

Y said...

very interesting, mah deah.

and now, a few things we have in common:

a. I was going to name my baby 'aditya' if i had a boy.

b. Bangalore is the city of my heart too.

c. Reading, writing, MASH and calvin. (Who's Shivani though?)

Actually there are many more things but I forget now. Am a little dizzy from dancing all over the house with Peanut. Going to pass out now.

And NO, will NOT do the tag, am very embarassed and shy.But will do something very readable on the same theme. Peace?

Rohini said...

Can I just say that I came by after a long time and read all your posts and now I have a stomach cramp from all the laughing. Girl, you are funny - and I meant that in the best possible way...

mnamma said...

Hey Parul,
That was a pretty interesting story! You have a endearing sense of humor and Adi is so so cute! More pictures please :) (If you dont' mind posting pictures)

choxbox said...

Interesting lives we all lead!

Anonymous said...

That is really cute :-) You guys sound so much in love....

Aqua said...

"“Indira Nagar?”
Drives off without a reply."

You forgot to add the "digusted scowl on face if destination is within 3 kms.

got here via Y's blog. loved yr post and yes, pls do a post on the autowallah's in bangalore. i'll be active on the comments in that one. :)

noon said...

Totally enjoyed this story! First time here. So cute - getting you drunk and getting you to cough out a "yes"! :)
Hey - what's with "Shake that Kancheevaram babe"! :) Madras is hot (pun intended) too! Grrr...
And yes yes yes!! OMG - what is wrong with the Bangalore autowallahs?! They sit around doing nothing and sleep every now and then in their parked autos but won't go to the road on the "other side" even if you are willing to pay them a ton more! Do your auto please!

SUR NOTES said...

engagement story - lovely!
bangalore story - close to my heart!
bangalore auto driver stories - couldnt be closer to my heart! waiting for the exclusive post...and believe it or not, just to feel nostalgic about all those fights one has had with auto guys.

Mona said...

thanks parul, i designed the header myself. just learning to use photoshop. i could spend hours at it :)
your engagement story is hilarious, in a good way, that is.

Mona said...

okay, re: your comment, i have only one thing to say:
and i'm proclaiming it right here infront of the whole blogging world.
seriously though, thanks for the chin up, God knows I needed it today.

Poppins said...

Nice, reminded me of Sue's. LOL about the autowallahs, another fellow Bangalorean huh? Cute story.

DotMom said...

Awwww. wonderfully narrated.. you so have a knack!!! I loved the part where you have these zillion denial thoughts in your mind. and liked the note to the son :) It's funny.. how you want a Jim Morrison and fall for some one who is so not!!! here's to hot geeks :)

Fuzzylogic said...

You evil you!so you want me to get embrassed as well huh?:)ok,count me in. Will spill my can of worms eh..can of beans as you said soon enough.
Bottoms up to the inebriated proposal and to the uptight autowallas of Bangalore(my city as well) not to forget Kanjeevaram clad leg shaking babes:)

rayshma said...

heyy! d world sure is a small place, huh! :)
LOVE ur blog! now that u're blog-rolled, lemme go & read all of it! :) yeah, m quite vella as u may have noticed :)

Parul said...

Mala - :D

Sue - So happy to discover I am not alone :)

Y - It is just uncanny, eh?? I just can't get over all the things that are same-same!!

Shivani is a Hindi author...has written many, many fantastic books. Highly recommended if you read Hindi.

Rohini - thanks!! Come by again :D

mnamma - I need to do a photo-post sometime soon.

choxbox - my life is pretty boring, actually!

anon - it is nice to talk to a person with a name....please tell me yours!

aqua - its amazing how much empathy that has generated. I am going to do that post for sure!

noon - of course madras is hot!!

sur notes - coming up!

mona - awww....that's sweet! Glad you cheered up girl!

poppins - coming up!

dotmom - one more shot in the name of hot geeks...*buzzes off drunkenly*

fuzzy - good girl!! write it are a sport, unlike the uncharacterstically shy and embarassed Y (hmmpphh!)

Orchid said...

hey parul,
first time here and that I say was a pretty neat introduction!! And here's my toast to the Bangalore autowallahs!! ( I hail form there) :)

Parul said...

Hi there Orchid - wow, so many people commented on the auto-wallahs...its almost if I got engaged to one!!

Thanks for coming by, will be more thankful if you keep coming by!

Parul said...

Hi Rayshma - glad to be blog-rolled :D yeah, go through the antics of my boy!! Should provide you with some laughs!

Trishna said...

awwwwwwwwwww cute!I loved reading it!!

karmickids said...

Damn cute can I get out of this one????

Parul said...

Trishna - thankee v. much!!

Karmickids - No, you can't. What is wrong with everyone..surely it cannot be more embarassing than mine or Sue's??? Out with it..NOW!

Moppet's Mom said...

LOL! You know a writer has talent when she turns a drunken proposal story into a completely 'awwww' moment! :-D Great story!

Just Like That said...

Lol at flesh eating clients (fellow ex-client servicer)Lol at the dratted autowallahs( fellow sufferer), Lol Lol I laffed all the way thru your post only to go awww... when the question popped out. Drunk or not, you guys rock!

Parul said...

MM - hee hee hee...I know! I squeezed the romance out somehow!!

JLT - *blush* thanks! and v happy that u laughed!