Thursday, August 2, 2007

Baby poo and other encouraging events

Anyone who believes that one shouldn't shit where one eats is clearly not a baby.
That particular pearl of wisdom dispensed, on to more mundane things.
When we were expecting Adi, we checked with some friends about their mode of potty disposal.
Cotton nappies seemed to be the universal answer. Yes, well-to-do people with cars and apartments who were not in the imminent danger of losing their jobs all swore alliegience to triangular pieces of cloth.
Susceptible as expecting parents usually are, we too decided to go the nappy way. And to be fair, we really did give it a shot for two whole days. However, having gone through a bucket load of dirty nappies in the first two hours of the day pretty much decided that we would soon be converts to the P&G way of life.
Enter Pampers.
Not so easy, chum. Did you really think the road to parenthood was that easy?
Like, you know, no one uses Indian made Pampers.You just HAVE to use imported ones, baby. Scared of being sent away to Mommy&Daddy Hell for Being Bad Parents, we too joined the quest for American Pampers. Its just a myth you know. US made Pampers don't really exist. How else would you explain the fact that stores that stock everything from imported Chinese Tom-Yum Soup Cubes to Imported Alabanian Chocolate Syrup would not stock American Pampers?
Disappointed and dejected, we thus switched to Asian/Middle-Eastern Pampers. Having discovered the sub-optimal but far more easily available Japanese, Singaporean, Filipino, Vietnamese and Arabic Pampers, we had achieved something resembling diaper redemption....or so I thought.
Adi always seems to be between diaper sizes. And since P&G believes that Japanese babies run on a different developmental cycle than say, Vietnamese babies, a normal conversation at Patel Stores, Bandra would run thus:
"Do you have Japanese Pampers for babies between 7-9 kgs?"
"No, but I have Singaporean Pampers for that range."
"No, thanks. That would be small for him.So, do you have Singaporean Pampers for 10-14 kgs?"
"No, how about Saudia Pampers for 7-13 kgs?"
"That wont do.Too snug. But KSA Pampers for 9-12 kgs should do."
"Then you better buy Philippines Pampers for 7-12 kgs. Thats all I got."
"Sigh, ok."
Do let me mention here that Adi falls into NONE of the weight ranges mentioned above. He really is 6.5 kgs.
Another delighful development is Adi going to sleep on his own (no, really!) while watching his mobile. I mean, isn't that every last rupee of the 4000 bucks vasooled or what! Long live, Fisher-Price.
I have, I am sure bitched about the tini-ness of our apartment on an earlier occasion. Just to make sure you get an idea of just how over-utilized our 790 square feet of living space is, when its finally time to go to bed for the night, we put our laptops down on the floor. Yeah, like pet cats or something. Though, if we had cats, I am quite certain Mahesh would make them sleep in the bed with him, without me to take up too much room...
Anyway, so this morning when it was time to feed Adi, I picked him with one hand and cleared the chair where I needed to sit with another. Once, I had settled down and Adi was half-feeding, half-dozing, I realized that I had placed the cushion on the foot-stool and my lap-top on top of the cushion where it currently sat rather precariously, threatening to jump off and putting paid to all those hours of net-surfing. The choice between jerking up and pulling the cliff-hanging computer to safety and waking up a sleepy baby loomed large and I was quite frozen in terror for a few moments, really.
The lap-top won. Adi, I will pay for your therapy for six whole sessions for that one, baby. And Mahesh, we need a bigger house.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I like the Japanese pampers. I used them for my kids, they're really light and absorbent.